There’s just one method to correctly eat a hamburger and I’ll settle for the judgment of others for embracing this unpopular opinion. You must all the time use a knife and fork. I’ve been consuming hamburgers all my life. At the same time as a child who was a finicky eater, a burger was one of many few meals I might all the time devour, regardless that as a ten 12 months previous, it may solely have meat and mayonnaise. Then, in my reckless youth, I’d eat it with my palms like a raccoon scarfing down a dumpster donut. I’ve since discovered that utilizing silverware is way more civilized.
Some hamburgers as we speak are so loaded with toppings they’re virtually unimaginable to eat. When you add bacon, lettuce, tomato, avocado, purple onion, pickles and probably even one other patty, it turns into a tower of tastiness that requires the unhinging of a jaw to permit it to go our lips. And we’re not even contemplating the thickness of the bun. An English muffin or ciabatta bread may make it a little bit extra affordable, however a giant, fluffy brioche roll goes so as to add at the least a few inches to the peak. The primary chew is inevitably a catastrophe with avocado and tomato sliding off the bun and onto the plate, probably right into a pool of ketchup splattering onto your shirt and successfully ruining your meal. Enter the cutlery.
There’s a technique to consuming burgers with a fork and knife. First you must have at the least a few toothpicks to carry all of it collectively when it’s first sliced into, in any other case it can topple. Barely press on the highest of the burger after which insert the toothpicks to make sure they’re going during the layers. As soon as the toothpicks are in place, minimize the burger in half and admire your handiwork. Now you’ll be able to actually see what you must work with. Biting right into a burger sight unseen can result in one chew that’s all tomato and no avocado after which the following chew is simply lettuce. If these toppings aren’t evenly distributed, you by no means know what you’re gonna get. With silverware, each chew may be precisely what you need it to be.
Consuming a burger this manner additionally reduces the necessity for a number of napkins. Ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, and general burger juices spill out in all places whenever you attempt to cram into your mouth. Wiping your face after each chew, you’re going by way of paper towels such as you personal inventory in Bounty and whenever you’re completed consuming you want a shower. When you’re in a restaurant, they may grace you with a moist towelette, however you’ll positively must go wash your palms after you’re carried out. With a fork, your face and palms are as clear as they have been whenever you started.
The hamburger shouldn’t be the one meals historically eaten together with your palms that may profit from a fork and knife. A quesadilla, a burrito, deep dish pizza, or any pizza that has a crust that may’t help the load of the toppings are so a lot better when eaten with silverware. Individuals could decide you or query your decisions, however don’t let it deter you. I as soon as ate a quesadilla at an Applebee’s with a knife and fork, a lot to the chagrin of those that have been with me, however I proudly adopted by way of on my non-conventional consuming fashion. The meals all results in the identical place, so why not eat in a manner that doesn’t imply I’ve strands of melted cheese hanging from my chin?
That is the hamburger hill I’ll die on. There is no such thing as a in-n-out out for me once I select methods to eat my burger. Consuming it with a fork and knife is a job effectively carried out and I’ll smash it each single time. If there may be an Earl of Hamburg, I’m certain they’d agree with me. The subsequent time you might have an outrageously tall burger in entrance of you, do your self a favor and take a look at it. After all, if it’s only a easy little cheeseburger from McDonalds, effectively, yeah, eat that one together with your palms. I’m not a monster.